Butter, Heels, and Brownie Batter

Oh hey. Its me again. Once again, Im here to make fun of the stupid things that I do on occasion. They just seem to be happening more often than usual lately and its healthy to take a step back and laugh...right?......right. So here it is: Three Embarrassing Stories from the Life of Mallory

Butter:: Once upon a time, I had a very fun date with a very tall, very handsome young man from my ward. Yay me. The main activity of the date consisted of making pazooki (a giant chocolate chip cookie cake). My ONE job was to put the butter in the bowl. Thats all! That isn't hard right? Well apparently, for me it is. Nothing seemed wrong with it until my date took a huge bite of his piece and with a look of confusion, pulled a large flake of waxy butter wrapper out of his mouth. Yes. I had forgotten to unwrap the butter. Mortified doesn't begin to describe how I felt. He still teases me.

Heels:: On another occasion, I was trying to make a quick exit after ward prayer on a lovely Sunday afternoon. I was still in my dress and heels as I started down the stairs of the Glenwood lodge. Much to my dismay, my shoe caught on the second-to-last step and I full-on somersaulted down the stairs landing in a heap on the cement floor. I did what any victim of a tragic fall would do and immediately checked to see who had seen. My eyes met with Mr. tall and handsome's from the butter story. A quick smile flashed across his face and disappeared as fast as it had appeared. He got all serious and asked if I was ok, but I knew he was dying of laughter on the inside.

Brownie Batter:: Remember how I only know one guy who is a number five on my man scale? Ya. This story involves him. I woke up feeling very sick this morning. After sleeping most of the day away, I was feeling up to some family history. Nerd I know. I put on my slippers and my favorite Brazilian soccer jersey and wandered out to the kitchen with my baby blanket. I grabbed a bowl of brownie batter and started shoving it down realizing I didn't care about my zits showing in their post-shower, no-makeup glory. There was a knock on the door, and my roommate answered it at the very moment that I missed my mouth out of drowsiness and smeared batter on my cheek. I quickly wiped it off in response to the smile that flickered across his face and proceeded to get him the temple name he came for.

I don't know why these things keep happening, but I figured I'd let someone get a laugh out of them.